A good fried of mine once told me, “you are too nice for your own good. You end up getting yourself hurt.” I kinda took offense to it the first time she said it. I thought how could someone be too nice? So many people are so cynical and hateful these days so we need more nice in the world.
I am though. I’m too affectionate with people and when I show affection I seem to think everyone is like me and should return the affection. When in fact I know no one like me. Honestly, for one I feel dumb and awkward for wanting to be as affectionate as I am cause to most people it’s different and strange I suppose. Secondly I set myself up for hurt feelings cause most people aren’t going to respond with the same level of attention. I shouldn’t expect it. I don’t get mad when it’s not returned but it does hurt.
You know when you mess something up and you’re mad about it. Then you mess something else up cause you’re frustrated about the last thing. Then it just snow balls from there. I feel like that with this post. I hate to think of myself as over emotional or whiney or easly hurt. The thing is I am. It hurts to admit it. What makes it worse is I hate pathetic cries for attention and comfort and that’s exactly why I’m writing this. I just get more and more mad at myself as I write this.
I can’t stand myself at times.